Independent Living - First Steps in Stopping Your House Eating Your Energy - Deciding

The thing I've found hardest about the 'idea' of getting rid of stuff (ignoring the most obvious not actually having the energy to do it) has been being comfortable with the decision of 'Keep or Get Rid'.

What if I make a mistake? What if I need it after all? What if I'm effectively throwing money away? What if other people are upset that I don't own this particular thing any more? What if, what if, what if... Such a paralysing mental spiral of doubt.

It's something that's crept up on me over the years, a slow inexorable tide of indecision that's culminated in stuff coming into the house, and only obvious rubbish and recycling leaving the house. Net result? More coming in than going out.

Independent Living - First Steps in Stopping Your House Eating Your Energy - Quick Wins

When I look at the mountain of stuff it all seems insurmountable. And confusing. Where to start? Which bit to chip away at first? Will just a little bit make a difference? Then I feel overwhelmed, anxious that I'll just make more mess, anxious that I'll run out of energy. And then I stagger away for a rest and nothing happens.

Today I decided that the first step is the hardest. I have an outbox see HERE, I have a bin, and by tipping a load of ironing onto the table in the  junk room I have a recycling box too.

So what's stopping me? I need a Quick Win - something manageable in one go. And because my carer has gone for the day, something I can handle for myself.

If you are feeling the same, is there something near at hand like a drawer or a tray or a bag with stuff in? That you could tackle? To get your feet wet? Apartment Therapy's January Cure suggests just picking ONE drawer something that can be dealt with then & there HERE

This is how I've got on with my first Quick Win....

Independent Living - First Steps in stopping your house eating your energy - Letting Go

The elephant in the room. The big issue. The one that stops most of us actually getting rid of stuff whilst knowing that if we bring more stuff in (which doesn't stop us), eventually we won't be able to get in the house. There won't be space.

In a word, emotion.  Emotions, in various forms stop us getting rid of our stuff. And emotions, in various forms, make us get more stuff.

Independent Living - First Steps in stopping your house eating your energy - Choosing

Ok so. You have your list. Of one room, several rooms or all rooms. That's up to you.  It's probably rather large. Fearsomely large.  I look at mine and my heart sinks. I start wanting to give up right now because of the sheer volume of energy doing that list will need.

Fear not! This is a snail like process. Chopped up into little bits of manageable energy use.

The first step was THINKING which was the last blog post HERE.

Next, we CHOOSE. We choose 3 to 5 items per room from the entire list (one room, several or all rooms), and concentrate on those.

Independent Living - First Steps in stopping your house eating your energy - Thinking

A house is a big thing. Lots of square feet, lots of things filling the square feet. And depending on who lives in it, it gets used in different ways.

One of the first things I realised when I got this ill was, that the way a healthy person uses a house and the way an ill person (called Meeps from now on, short for people with ME, as in ME people = meeps) uses a house is completely different.

Healthy people can use all the space, they can rummage to get something out, use it, and put everything back without even noticing that's what they're doing. Meeps are so knackered by the initial rummage, or even getting to the cupboard, that nothing gets put back or even used. So Meeps end up with an astonishing amount of 'stuff' surrounding them that they use often enough to not want to have to stagger a few meters to a cupboard to locate (they might not even be able to get out of bed) but not so often that it's used all the time. Depending on how knackered energywise the Meep is, this minor chaos spreads outwards like ripples in a pond. Healthy people can say, spend a day tidying up, at the end of it they're tired, but hey, it's done. Meeps can't. So this 'decluttering' I'm doing will eat my elephant a bite at a time - Meeps have to be smart about finding ways to do things differently, cutting a task into chunks that can be tackled bit by bit.

Independent Living - My house eats my energy, time to change!

Morning.

When I got this ill (sofabound/ bedbound depending on whether I'm upstairs or downstairs) I suddenly realised how very very hard it can be to do simple things around the house - the distances between bed and toilet, reaching into the fridge for food, all the stuff that 'healthy' or 'relatively healthy' people take for granted.  Still more difficult is moving around and using your stuff if your house isn't, erm, how do I put this politely, tidy? Or, in my case, I'd probably be snapped up as a contestant for a TV 'this is how hoarding starts' show....

My basic problem is

• I have too much stuff for the space available (about 45 square metres ish. Can't quite remember, could be 48, anyway, tiny 2 bed house and a small shed), 
• I can no longer work and rely on state benefits so I'm anxious about getting rid of something I might need later but won't be able to afford to replace, and, anyway, this stuff reminds me of who I used to be which feels important now I can't be that 'doing' person. I feel invisible to myself sometimes never mind other people, and,
• No actual spare energy to do anything about it. My daily life of existing takes up my energy, so if I do something extra, something has to give, like getting dressed or washed or cleaning my teeth etc.